Two Weeks Notice
by I'veGotAnotherConfessionToMake
Summary: Hermione Granger is employed for Draco Malfoy in order to save her precious community center. Spinoff of the movie!
1. The Diagon Alley Community Center

**A/N: Hey all! I'm back again! This story is based off of Two Weeks Notice with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant. Parts of it will be like it, and others will have nothing to do with the movie at all. Please, review and tell me what you think of it! **

**Thanks!**

**--I've Got Another Confession to Make—**

Chapter One: Diagon Alley's Community Center

"This building has been the heart of the magical community for over forty years!" A small, thin woman with bushy hair screamed as she hung off of a large wrecking ball. She shook a tendril of hair that had escaped from her pony tail out of her face, staring down the blockade of workers standing on the other side of a row of wooden barriers. Onlookers had begun to congregate to see what the fuss was about. "You can't just knock it down! You're ruining all chances of our children- our children's children- of having the experience of an old fashioned cinematic familiarity which hasn't been known any where else in the wizarding world!"

"Hermione, I don't think this is a good idea," said a girl with large blue eyes and shimmering blond hair.

Hermione looked down at her from her perch on the wrecking ball and said with annoyance, "Of course it'll work Luna! Have some faith in us!"

"Listen lady!" One of the construction workers yelled, coming forth out of the crowd. "We got a permit to take this place down! Now, just step down and get the hell out of here!"

"Luna, Ron, a little help here," Hermione said attempting to get down off of the wrecking ball. Ron and Luna rushed forward to help the slight woman from the large wrecking ball. "Ow! Ron! That's my hair!"

"Sorry," Ron mumbled under his breath, watching as Hermione ran off towards the blockade of workers. Luna and Ron trailed behind rather fearfully, clutching to one another for protection.

"Well, I have a permit that allows me to evoke my right of protest!" Hermione yelled brandishing a crinkled piece of paper in the air. She waved it around for emphasis, watching as the men raised their hands into the air, conversing with one another.

"Start 'er up, Larry!" Yelled the first man, obviously the manager of the group. The man in the crane pushed a few buttons, grinning manically as the machine roared to life.

"No!" Hermione screamed. She rushed back to Ron and Luna, who were now holding each other tightly. "Ok! Now, we will lay down in protest! Get your mats out!" Hermione said as she took a pink yoga mat from her backpack. Luna followed suit.

"Ron!" They both yelled together. Ron quickly unrolled his blue yoga mat and fell to the ground on the other side of Luna. Hermione handed out three clear plastic baggies containing a pair of goggles. "Here's your protective eyewear!" Each put on a pair.

"This is your last chance Lady!" The man yelled holding up his construction hat.

"We will prevail!" Hermione said, raising one arm into the air. "Alright, Luna, Ron, link arms!"

The trio linked arms, trying to ignore the sounds of the wrecking ball being lifted from the ground.

"We will not move!" Hermione cried again, pumping her hand into the air a few times for added effect.

"Luna?" Ron asked. Hermione and Luna looked up. "Luna, will you marry me?"

Luna smiled and squealed in delight. "Yes!" She said, planting a kiss on Ron's lips.

The crane stopped, the man at the wheel pouting as he shut off the machine.

"Hey, you guys!" Hermione said, looking up. "You're good luck! Yes! We will prevail!"

"You will go to jail!" The man said as the Magical Enforcer Squad arrived.

Luna, Ron and Hermione looked up as the sirens went off and a band of officers quit their brooms. Little lights were flashing on the ends of the bristles of their brooms reflecting off the many store fronts lining the streets. Hermione sighed and let her head fall back on the mat, defeated.



"Thanks guys," Hermione said to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley as they exited the Police Station, Ron, Luna and herself covered in dirt. "I'll pay you back this time, I swear!"

"Nonsense," replied Mrs. Weasley, grinning at Ron and Luna. "At least you get put in jail for doing something you believe in! Unlike a pair we know," She said, sharing a look with Mr. Weasley. The older man smiled solemnly and nodded his head in agreement, no doubt thinking of his twin boys.

"Thanks, Hermione," Luna said, staring lovingly up at Ron. "We had fun!"

"Yeah," Ron echoed. "Fun."

The pair walked off down the street, talking and cuddling as they left.

"Come home and have some food with us, Hermione! I made extra for everyone! And the twins will be home."

"I'm sorry, but I think that I'm going to go home instead and wallow in self-pity," Hermione said, scrubbing with a wet-nap at the dirt caked onto her knuckles.

"Oh, you'll get them next time, Love," Mrs. Weasley said, embracing Hermione tightly. "Don't worry!"

"Thanks," Hermione said half-heartedly. "See you later."

"Bye, dear," Mr. Weasley said, taking his wife's arm and apparating them both home.

Hermione turned and began to walk down the cobbled road to her usual newsstand at the corner where Flourish and Blott's met the Quidditch shop. The older Indian man sitting behind the stall counter smiled at her as Hermione neared.

"Hello! How are you today?" Hermione asked smiling, picking up a copy of the Daily Prophet and one of Witch Weekly without paying much attention to the cover.

"Good, good," said the old man taking Hermione's money and giving her the proper change in return. "See you tomorrow?"

"Um, yes, I think I'll be able to stop by tomorrow," Hermione said softly, placing her change in her purse and smiling again. "Goodbye!"

"Goodbye, Miss Granger!"

Hermione walked a ways away before pausing a little out of the way and apparating back to her apartment in London. She sighed, dropping her backpack on the ground and draping her purse across the nearest kitchen chair. She tossed the newspaper and magazine on the counter, walking over to the phone and removing the handset from its cradle. She punched in a series of numbers and listened to the ringing on the other side of the line.

"Hello? Mr. Wong? Hi, Hermione Granger. Yeah, um, I would like to place an order…" Hermione picked at a spot of dust on her jacket. "Yes, I would like a number sixteen and a number… fourteen? Yes, fourteen. And also two orders of number eight but without the sauce. What? Yes, this is for one… Oh, and can I have a couple of egg rolls? Three or four maybe? Thank you! Bye."



Hermione fixed her ponytail as she sat down in the kitchen chair. She laid down Witch Weekly and opened a take out box of sweet and sour chicken. Brandishing a pair of chop sticks, she finally for the first time looked down at the cover.

The face looking back up at her was one that had been gracing many magazines over the past two years. Ever since his company had taken flight, Draco Malfoy's face was everywhere, smirking at Hermione with amusement as though making fun of her many attempts to foil his business in destroying monumental buildings for his own profit.

Taking a bite out of an egg roll, Hermione read the article on Malfoy; his latest conquest in property achievement, his latest divorce, and the value of his estate after the rise in the economy the past year.

Sitting back in her chair, Hermione continued to plow her way through the rest of her order, glancing half-heartedly through the Daily Prophet. Even in the newspaper she couldn't escape from Draco Malfoy. His pointed face was everywhere! Rita Skeeter was publishing the blow by blow accounts of his divorce from Pansy Parkinson.

Sighing for what felt like the hundredth time that day, Hermione stood from her chair and placed the left over food in the fridge. She wiped a cloth over the table, gathering crumbs and stray pieces of fried rice into her hand. Walking back over to the sink, Hermione rinsed the wash cloth and her hand under the warm water.

She pondered what it would be like to work for someone like Draco Malfoy.

"Living hell…" She whispered out loud, turning off the water tap and dropping the wash cloth into the sink. Hermione left the forgotten magazine and newspaper on the table and flipped off the light switch, heading down the hall to her bedroom, all the while attempting to forget about Draco Malfoy.



The next morning Hermione woke up at precisely five thirty, dressed and did her hair in precisely six point seven seconds and was out the door with a portfolio of pictures and articles on the Diagon Alley Community Center.

There was little activity in the streets as Hermione hailed a cab and climbed inside. The cabby was middle-aged and obviously tired as he yawned every two seconds along with asking at least twenty times where it was that Hermione was going and if she had any idea where it was located.

One hour and twenty minutes later, Hermione arrived outside of Malfoy Enterprises. She paid the cabby and hurried out into the square, bypassing people in expensive business suits talking about the stock market and other random things related to business. Hermione staked out a spot close to the water fountain where she would be able to encounter Malfoy whether he was entering or leaving the building.

Hermione waited for three hours, till almost ten in the morning, when Malfoy's car pulled up and he ambled out into the bright sunshine. Snapping to attention, Hermione readied her portfolio and stood, slowly following Draco as he talked to a man in a chauffeurs suit.

"Malfoy- Mr. Malfoy!" Hermione called, breaking into a slight run.

Malfoy turned slightly, still talking to his driver, a bagel in his hand. He took a large bite sweeping his grey eyes across the square, bypassing Hermione's plain appearance and staring instead at a tall blond in a pencil skirt and fitted blouse.

"Mr. Malfoy?" The blond said softly, smiling broadly and extending her hand. Malfoy swallowed and took her hand.

"Do I know you?" He asked politely, a small smile on his face. Hermione rolled her eyes.

Malfoy and the blond continued to converse for the better part of thirty minutes. Hermione sat on the water fountain, staring at the couple as they seemingly flirted more than anything else.

Finally the blond woman smiled and walked off and Hermione stood hurriedly, picking up her folder.

"Malfoy! Draco Malfoy!" Hermione called.

Draco turned around, smile still on his face. Then it vanished in a mere two point five seconds.

"Granger?" Draco asked, his voice laced with surprise. "Hermione Granger? Why aren't you off lying in front of one of our wrecking balls?"

"Well- I need your help…" Hermione said softly, opening the folder. "Your companies tearing down a very important building and I'm here to try and-"

"Wait, wait, wait…" Malfoy said, raising one hand in the air. Hermione paused, mouth still shaped to form the rest of her sentence. She furrowed her eyebrows, holding the folder open in her hands, which were extended towards Malfoy. "You- Hermione Granger- need my- Draco Malfoy- help? Have you gone insane?"

"Well, I'm actually not allowed anywhere near the Hilde Brothers Corporation and Bob Waite has a restraining order…" Hermione said nonchalantly, scratching at a place behind her ear.

Malfoy laughed as Hermione scowled at him. "What in the world could I possibly do for you, Granger?"

"Diagon Alley Community Center sound familiar to you?" Hermione asked displaying a newspaper clipping. "It's in the heart of Diagon Alley and has so many great classes for young and old and-"

"What's in it for me?" Malfoy said, starting to walk away. He motioned for Hermione to follow him as he walked back towards his car. Out of no where, the chauffeur appeared, opening the door.

"Well, um…" Hermione said, standing awkwardly beside the car as Malfoy slipped inside. He poked his head back out staring at Hermione who was steadily becoming more and more confused.

"Coming?" Malfoy asked softly, disappearing back into the confines of the car. Hermione swallowed her pride and slipped into the car, muttering under her breath that it was all for the Community Center.

Once the car started moving, all was deathly silent. Hermione cleared her throat in uneasiness and glanced at Malfoy who was glaring thoughtfully at Hermione.

"Yes?" Hermione asked.

"I want you to do something for me," Draco said, smirking.

"What would that be?" Hermione asked unsure.

"I want you to come and work for me. We could use someone like you on our work force, and I guess in exchange I'll consider keeping your community center," Draco said as they parallel parked. "What do you think?"

"I have to think about it…" Hermione said, still clutching her folder as if to hand it to Malfoy.

"Well, I'm afraid I need an answer pretty much immediately, so here's my number," Draco said, pulling a cream colored card out of the inside pocket of his jacket and handing it to Hermione. She took it reluctantly and looked at the name.

"The Grand Hotel?" She asked skeptically. "You live in a hotel?"

"Well, I own the hotel, I just happen to live in it as well," Draco said opening the door. "Look, Granger, I know you don't care about money and looking decent and things of that nature, but I'll start you at $250,000 and even buy you a new apartment closer to the office so that you can get a little more beauty rest- Merlin knows you need it- and give you a free reign of my chauffeur for any charity galas we have to go to."

And with that having been said, Malfoy left the car. The chauffeur stuck his head inside the open door. "There's usually a very nice Christmas bonus by the way."

Hermione nodded her head and folded her hands in her lap, looking around at the opulent car. "Thank you." She replied nodding her head again.

**A/N: Ok, so what do you think? Totally pointless and stupid like I should just die from the embarrassment of even **_**thinking**_** about writing this? Or totally good like you can't live without another chapter? TELL ME!!! PLEASE!!!!**

**--I've Got Another Confession to Make-- **


	2. The Beginning

**A/N: Ok, I know it's almost exactly like the movie… It's kind of supposed to be in case you didn't know. But parts of it are going to come from my mind, and parts of the movie aren't going to be here at all. Hope that clears things up!**

**As always, please, pretty please with sugar on top and a cherry, REVIEW!**

**--I've Got Another Confession to Make**

Chapter Two: Sunday Lunch and a Bigger Office

"You cannot, and I mean, absolutely CANNOT work for that man!" Ruth Granger said angrily, jabbing at her salad with added gusto. Her attempt to spear a grape tomato failed, sending the red sphere flying through the air. She watched it with mild enthusiasm, no doubt picturing it as Draco Malfoy's pompous, inflated head.

"Mum, it's the only way to save the community center!" Hermione said taking another bite of her ice cream. "Besides," Hermione shrugged her shoulders, a contemplative look on her face, "It can't be all that bad…"

Ruth shared a look with her husband, Larry. Hermione looked between her parents, swirling her spoon around and around in her melting bowl of ice cream.

"Honey," Hermione's father said slowly, reaching out and placing a hand over his daughters. "He's the man that took over the building where our dental office was. Draco Malfoy is not a nice guy. If you go in there, you better demand respect and equality and then somehow, show him what it's like to be just like everyone else."

"How do you do that?" Hermione asked skeptically. "Draco Malfoy has never exactly been normal, given the fact that he was born rich and magical. It's like a death sentence for anyone who crosses his path!"

Hermione laid her spoon down on the table and sighed while rubbing her stomach. "I can't believe how much I ate!"

Larry smiled. "I know honey; the whole left side of the menu! I'm proud!"

"Do not work for him, Hermione," Ruth said, attempting to spear another tomato. "You'll just end up regretting it if you do. By the way, have you spoken to Ansell lately?"

"No," Hermione replied sullenly as she renewed eating her ice cream. Larry patted her free hand sympathetically as he continued eating his food and staring almost angrily at his wife.

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about Ansell. I'm sure Hermione has plenty of other things that she'd rather we-" Larry began only to be cut off by Ruth.

"There should be more men in the world like Ansell, I mean, look at all the things he does!" Ruth exclaimed, taking a large bite of her salad. "Men like Draco Malfoy should just-just-" Salad dressing dripped from her bottom lip, a bit gathering in the corner of her mouth.

"Just what, Mum?" Hermione asked, sucking on her spoon.

Ruth grew quiet and stared pointedly at her salad. Larry cleared his throat, feeling the tension between his wife and daughter.

"Let's go home for some dessert! What do you think, Hermione?" Larry clapped his hands together, smile gracing his lips. "Even though you've already had at least three helpings…"

Hermione sighed and rubbed her stomach. "No, you know what, I think that I'm just going to go home and rest. I have to draw up my contract and prepare for work on Tuesday. Thanks though."

♥

_Two days later…_

Hermione had woken two hours earlier than she usually did. She took a shower, meticulously shaving her legs till they were silky smooth and then drying her hair with a flat brush to help with the frizz. She applied moisturizer and lotion, and was careful to place her deodorant only on her underarm area, that way when she dressed, white marks would be absent from her clothing.

Finally, at seven fifteen, Hermione Granger was ready. She grabbed her satchel and put on the black sling-backs with a small heel that helped her keep her balance, unlike most other heeled shoes, before apparating to a small alley just across from Malfoy Enterprises.

Passerby streamed before the mouth of the opening, oblivious to the girl who had materialized out of thin air just ten feet away. Squaring her shoulders, Hermione strode confidently out of the dark alley and out into the bright sunshine, squinting as she walked closer to the one man who could make her blood boil.

The crowd pressed in on all sides, making Hermione literally have to swim through the crowd. She hugged her briefcase to her chest, stumbling against the cobbled road and then the paved sidewalk. Her heels caught in the gaps between each slab of concrete.

By the time Hermione made it to the front doors, her jacket was wrinkled, her bun was coming loose and her heels were scratched, the tiny heels covered in street grim.

She began to hastily straighten out her coat, flatten her hair back into a bun all the while walking up the marble steps and through the gilded door. Women and men alike streamed past her, none looking her way as she climbed three flights of stairs, was then directed to the elevator and proceeded to the top floor where she found herself waiting outside Malfoys office.

Squaring her shoulders a second time, Hermione reached up and rapped her knuckled against the wooden door.

"Enter," Malfoy called from the other side. It was the exact remark that Hermione had always expected from him; one that made him feel like he was always superior in more ways than one.

Hermione turned the brass handle leading into Malfoy's office and stepped inside. The walls were lined with news articles framed and hanging amongst other pictures of him standing with a bunch of men all wearing construction helmets on their heads and each grasping a shovel in their hands. She looked at this all with disdain already regretting what she had done.

"Ah, Granger," Malfoy said, swiveling his chair around so that they faced one another. His pointed face dropped into a smirk. He gestured with one hand towards the lone chair before his gilded desk. "Have a seat, Granger."

Frowning slightly, Hermione sat primly in the leather seat, grasping her satchel in her lap. Malfoy cocked his head to the side, contemplating Hermione as she looked at all the articles.

"So," Malfoy said. "Have you drawn up your contract then?"

Hermione faced Malfoy and opened her satchel, rifling through a few folders of papers before she removed her newly drawn up contract. She held it out to Malfoy, leaning in towards the desk. Malfoy snatched it from her hands, holding it out between his pointer fingers and thumb, trying to touch as little of it as possible. Hermione sighed and scratched behind her ear, tucking away a loose curl.

Malfoy scanned the papers, folding them one over the other as his eyes roamed over each page. After two minutes of absolute silence, he dropped the contract onto his desk and leaned back into his chair. "Yes, looks wonderful, you're hired."

Hermione blinked in surprise. "That's it?"

"Well I already talked to you earlier about it didn't I?" Malfoy said, taking his suit jacked off the back of his chair and slipping his arms into it. "Oh, well quick overview. I'll start you off at 250,000 though I don't think you really personally care."

Glancing around Hermione tried not to be too taken aback by how much money she was starting out on.

"Merlin knows that you could use a new wardrobe," Malfoy said pointedly smoothing his hair back. Hermione tried to not be too offended by Malfoy's blunt wordage. "And I'll get you a new apartment-"

"Wait!" Hermione said interrupting. "What about my apartment?"

"Just sell it or something," Malfoy replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. He smoothed out his sleeves and walked over to the door.

"Where are you going?" Hermione turned and asked.

Malfoy gave her a look that read STUPID in bold cased letters as though that were the only thing he though of her. "Lunch, Granger, what else?"

Hermione turned and looked at the clock over Malfoy's desk. "But- but it's only eight-thirty!"

"Yeah, well I like to have a very long lunch," Malfoy replied. He grabbed a heavier wool overcoat. "I'll sign your contract when I get in later. See you tomorrow, Granger."

"But how do I know what to do?" Hermione said, standing to her feet.

Malfoy gestured with his arms pointing to the general landscape of offices out beyond his desk. "You're a smart girl, and if you can't seem to figure it out, then just ask one of them for help."

Hermione sank back into the plush leather chair, astonished, holding on to her satchel with an iron fist.

♥

_2 weeks later…_

"Mr. Malfoy," Hermione said, clutching a stack of folders in her hand. She side-stepped another employee watching her boss walk away as he talked to another worker. "Mr. Malfoy!"

Draco turned, surprised no doubt at how formally he was being addressed by Hermione Granger of all people. His hands were extended before him, almost as though he had shaken the hands of two people at once and forgotten to put them back at his sides. In his hands were two envelopes which Hermione glanced at before stopping before Malfoy, almost literally shoving the second employee out of the way.

"Excuse me, Mr. Malfoy, I would really like to talk to you whenever you have a minute," Hermione said softly before starting to turn away.

"Ah, wait, Granger," Malfoy said extending the envelopes closer to Hermione. "I want you opinion."

"On the envelopes?"

Malfoy nodded his head, "Yes on the envelopes, what else?"

Hermione ignored his last comment. "What are they for?"

"Ah, my personalized stationary."

"Is this a trick question because they both look exactly the same to me…" Hermione replied, her voice fading as she fingered each of the envelopes.

"No, no, of course not," Malfoy held his right hand higher. "This one is a watermark finish, and this one," He held up his left hand. "Is a watermark _linen_ finish."

"Ok, so besides the fact that you've taken perfectly good trees and diluted them to make this non-recyclable paper, um…" Hermione motioned towards each one in turn as Draco looked on with slight confusion. After a couple seconds of deliberating, Hermione snatched one envelope from his hand and tasted the glue on the flap. "Nah," she muttered, replacing it in Malfoy's hand and taking the other. She tasted it as well, adopting a disgusted face before replying, "Nope, that one, it tastes better."

Malfoy looked at both the envelopes in his hands before tasting them, same as Hermione had done. His face brightened when he looked back at the woman before him, who was watching him with slight satisfaction, a hand placed firmly on her hip.

"You know," Malfoy said. "I've asked ten people that very same question today, and none of them have come up with the same answer."

Hermione beamed as though to prove her superiority.

"Yes, I'm getting you a bigger office," Malfoy said as he walked away, barking orders at some secretary with a headset on.

"No," Hermione said, following after him, files held tightly to her chest. "Wait, Mr. Malfoy, I need to speak to you!"

_Yet another 2 weeks after that…_

Hermione Granger fell back onto a mattress. "Very firm."

Draco Malfoy fell down on his back beside her. "But is it too firm? There is some debate about the optimum level of firmness… What do you think?"

Hermione sighed. "Well, if you really want to know, having too firm of a mattress will put pressure on the fourth and fifth vertebrae, causing immense back pain and stress."

"Hm," Malfoy said in response. He bounced once. "Quite bouncy, don't you think?"

Sighing, Hermione let herself be jostled around as her boss proceeded to bounce on the bed, gathering the attention of other shoppers.

**A/N **

**See that little button down there? The one that says 'Go'. I think he's lonely. Maybe you should go and click on him… cheer him up…**

**P.s. **

**OK, so right now, it's exactly like the movie. But things are going to be different, don't worry, and please don't flame me… I really do hate that…**


	3. Consider This My Two Weeks Notice

**A/N: Ok, I really hate disclaimers at the beginning of EVERY chapter, so this one applies to everything. Plus, I think I forgot to put a disclaimer at the top of the first two… so here goes…**

**DISCLAIMER: Everything Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything that has to do with Two Weeks Notice, including the lines and such, belong to whatever company made and produced the movie!**

**There, I think that settles that…**

Chapter Three: "Consider this my two weeks notice."

_Yet another four months after that…_

_RINGGG!!!!_

Hermione sprang up in her bed, her bushy hair wild around her head. Glancing at the clock she picked up the phone and said a groggy, "Hello?"

"Ah, good, you're awake," Came Draco's voice. "I just felt like having a chat."

"Malfoy, it's-" Hermione glanced again at the clock and tried to stifle a yawn. "It's three in the morning."

"Yes, well," Draco said, only to stop abruptly. Hermione listened as in the background a woman choked on something. "Are you alright?"

"I swallowed my altoid!" The girl exclaimed. Hermione sighed when she heard her voice.

"Ah, yes, a sudden hair flick can do that," Draco replied as Hermione yawned yet again. "Believe me, I know."

"Listen, I haven't got time to listen to this," Hermione said. "Just put whatever Men's-a-Candidate on the phone."

"What?" Draco asked, his question slightly slurred. "Like, now?"

"PUT HER ON THE PHONE!" Hermione screeched. Lack of sleep always made her cranky.

"Alright, no need to shout," Draco said. Hermione listened to him converse with the girl and then a polished voice said in one of those dumb blond voices, "Hi!"

"Um, yes, hi," Hermione said, stumbling through another yawn. "Listen, the man you are dancing with is _extremely _troubled. Yes, he's handsome and has loads of money, and probably sweet talked you till the moon was blue… anyway, the man next to you is so drunk that not only will he not be remembering your name tomorrow morning but his as well, is still married and recently… has had a very suspicious rash in the southerly region. So go back to high school and reach your potential!"

"I have to go…" Hermione heard the girl say, and then the sounds of a phone being passed from one hand to another. "What, nice chat?" She heard Draco reply. "Hello? Hermione, what did you say? Nice talk?"

"She sounds very special," Hermione said. "Now, I have to get up early tomorrow for a divorce case."

"Yes, we need to talk about that," Draco said having had forgotten about the girl. "I was thinking that I should cry. Should I do full out sobs, or little machine bursts of tears?"

"You're pathetic," Hermione said, smiling. "Goodnight."

Hanging up, Hermione fell back into bed and immediately fell back to sleep.

♥

"I'm sure Mr. Malfoy will be here any minute," Hermione said, angrily tapping her pencil against the pad of paper before her. The two other occupants of the room glared at her. "I'm sorry, but is there any more butterbeer?"

The second lawyer went to reply as the double doors were thrown in and Malfoy strode in, yawning and his blond hair perfect but for a patch sticking up in the back. The only part not visible when standing facing a mirror.

"Sorry, did I miss the blessed event?" He asked, taking a seat in the leather chair next to Hermione.

Draco and Pansy Malfoy-formerly-Parkinson glared at one another.

"Shall we get started then?" Hermione asked, opening her folder of information.

"We want to discuss the pre-nupt.," Pansy's lawyer immediately replied. "We want to double the alimony."

"No, we've already been through this," Hermione stated. "Though, if you'd like I can also follow you in German, French and Japanese!"

"We want twice the money, Granger," The lawyer stated.

"Nine, non, いいえ!" Hermione said. She looked to Draco who half smirked/smiled and both chuckled.

"You know what the agreement was," The lawyer said, rifling through his papers for his copy of the pre-nupt.

"Are you talking about the alleged affair that Mr. Malfoy had?" Hermione asked.

"He was having sex with her in OUR bed!" Pansy screeched, speaking for the first time.

"Well," Draco replied. "I knew how worried you were about getting anything on that couch!"

"Draco!" Hermione hissed. Turning back to Pansy and her lawyer, she prepared to speak when Pansy spoke up again.

"You heartless bastard! I don't know what I ever saw in you!" Pansy was situated on the edge of her chair, her black hair nearly flat against her head in a cropped bob.

"Uh, watch your language, Mrs. Malfoy, or you won't get the Southampton Estate," Hermione said matter-of-factly.

"Don't ever call me that again, Granger!" Pansy roared.

"In that case, considering what you two are implying than I really must bring up the alleged affair that your client has partaken in," Hermione said glaring venomously at Pansy. Pansy shrank back in her seat, her eyes fearful on her lawyer.

"And what would that be?" The lawyer asked, his bushy eyebrows coming together to form one larger one spreading across the flat expanse of his gigantic forehead.

"That the soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Malfoy did a little couch time of her own with the company accountant," Hermione stated triumphant when she laid eyes on Pansy. "And he's willing to testify."

"I have very loyal employees. I think it's the health plan," Malfoy said from his seat where he was crouched over, head in his hand, and a bored look on his visage.

"Yes," Hermione agreed. "One of your more generous moments."

"Yeah," Draco agreed. "Those seem to keep happening more and more lately. Might have to burst out with a pay cut, won't I Granger?" Malfoy said.

Hermione agreed.

"Oh, shut it, will you?" Pansy yelled. "You're just another one of his STUPID bimbos!"

"Hey, she is not stupid! She's dealing with you isn't she?" Draco said as Pansy took her glass of water and tossed it at Hermione. "Oi! What was that for?"

"Ah!" Hermione screeched, turning away. "Water has gone UP my nose!"

"Here," Draco said, producing a handkerchief from his coat pocket. "This hankie is very nearly clean."

He handed it to Hermione who proceeded to blow her nose. She wiped at the water left on her face and tried to hand it back to Malfoy. He looked at it with trepidation before saying, "Why don't you just go on ahead and keep that one."

♥

"Why did you end up giving her all those galleons, Malfoy?" Hermione asked as they left Malfoy Enterprises and crossed the street.

"Because she wouldn't have stopped anyway," Malfoy said stopping at a shish kabob stand and ordering one. "Want one, Granger?"

"No, I've never really warmed up to the idea of a flesh Popsicle." Hermione stated wiping excess water from when Pansy had tossed her glass on her from her coat. "I still don't think you should have given her the money."

"What does it matter? I'll earn it back anyway!" Draco replied taking a large bite from the shish kabob and smearing bar-b-que sauce on his lips. Without thinking, Hermione reached up and wiped it away with a cocktail napkin she had grabbed from the shish kabob stand.

"Well you could have given it to St. Mungo's or something, anything or anyone who would have used for something other than botox and male strippers!" Hermione said as they began to walk down the street.

"Quit worrying about it, Granger! You've done your job. This morning I was married, and now I'm not!" Malfoy said smiling happily, taking the lead down the sidewalk. Hermione sulked after him, rubbing frantically at the last remaining water spot on her coat. "You should be proud or whatever it is you get when you do something good. Like in school- you were always so happy that you got perfects in everything."

"Malfoy, I actually had to _try_ in school," Hermione said as they walked into a department store. "It's a bit different than that."

"Now, I want you to help me with something…" Malfoy said depositing the shish kabob stick on a table next to a row of polo shirts and walking off towards the back of the store. He came back, arms laden with clothes which he tossed into Hermione, who barely caught them as Malfoy held up a belt and said, "What do you think? Is it cheesy, or belt-tacular?"

"I don't care about the belt, Malfoy," Hermione grumbled.

"My dear Merlin, Granger," Draco said exasperated, "If it's bothering you so much, then I'll have someone else handle my divorces from now on. It's not like I particularly enjoy them!"

Hermione scoffed and promptly dropped the clothes right onto the floor and left the store without a backward glance.

♥

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bear witness to the union of Luna and Ron in holy-"

_RING!_

Luna, Ron and the priest turned and looked at Hermione who was standing in her coral pink bridesmaids dress, her face stoic and her hands firmly clutching her bouquet of flowers.

_RING! RING!_

"Oh, Luna," Hermione said, digging into her glove where she had stashed her phone. "I'm so sorry."

Glancing down at the screen, Hermione read these words from her boss, "EMERGENCY! HELP!"

Straightening again, Hermione looked to the priest and said, "Please continue. Everyone looks wonderful!"

Hermione hurried down the aisle, past the congregants who all looked quizzically at her. She stopped by the Weasley's and grabbed her purse, thrusting her bouquet at George who held it as though it were a foreign disease. "I'm sorry," she whispered to Mrs. Weasley as she turned away and ran as fast as the dress would allow her down the aisle and out the door.

It was inky black outside, the few streetlights illuminating the front of the church and the cobbled road. Hermione hurried to an alley and pulled her wand out of her bag, muttering under her breath as she apparated to her boss's apartment.

Once inside she immediately dropped her bag on the wooden floor and called out with a frantic air, "Malfoy! Malfoy where are you?"

"Help!" Came Malfoy's voice, slightly muffled. "I'm in my closet!"

Hermione hurried through the living room to the bedroom where she threw open the door to the closet to find Malfoy in a button down shirt and boxers.

"What's the matter?" Hermione asked breathlessly as she crossed the expansive closet closer to Malfoy. "What's wrong?"

"That's a nice dress," Malfoy commented staring at the pink contraption with a slightly bewildered expression. "Not really your color though is it, Granger? Pink?"

"Draco, what's the matter?" Hermione asked, her tone business-like.

"Ah, yes," Draco said, producing a little remote he aimed it towards the rack of clothes just off to his left and said, "I'm judging the Miss Magical Universe in under an hour. It's on national wizarding television and will be in just about every magazine. What should I wear?"

Draco pressed a button and the racks began to move, revealing more clothes that had previously been hidden behind the walls.

Hermione stared at him incredulously. "Malfoy, don't tell me you called me out of a wedding to have me pick out your clothes for you…"

"You were at a wedding?" Malfoy said, his voice slightly condescending. "Why would you leave a wedding to help me pick out clothes? That wasn't very smart, Granger."

"You said it was an emergency!" Hermione cried, exasperated. "Didn't I tell you as to what constitutes an emergency?!"

"Yes, um, large meteor, severe loss of blood- what was the third one?" Draco asked, counting them off on his fingers.

"Death!" Hermione screeched. "And you're NOT dead!"

Hermione grabbed the remote from Malfoy's hand and turned off the switch. The clothes stopped rotating. Hermione began to grab items of clothing as she continued to rant.

"Just like you weren't dead when you called me in the middle of the night because you had a nightmare about becoming the fourth member of the Weird Sisters! Just like you weren't dead when you burst in on my woman's appointment to ask me which picture to put on the cover of Witch Weekly!" Hermione thrust a pair of shoes into Draco's laden hands.

"I don't like those," He stated. Hermione sighed and returned them before grabbing another pair.

"Well, if you don't like it, then why do you leave your phone on?" Draco asked, turning towards a chair. "I think you crave the excitement!"

"I think I never should have taught you how to use a phone!" Hermione said, yanking two ties down from the tie holder and walking over to Draco as he fell back into the chair, the clothes forgotten in his arms. "I'm tired of this, Draco. I can't handle this."

"Then, I won't call you unless it really is an emergency," Draco muttered, fingering the laces to his shoes.

"Yes-yes you will," Hermione said, her voice resigned. She waved the two ties in front of Draco and said with a note of finality, "Please consider this my two weeks notice."

Draco sat flabbergasted for a moment. He absently took the light blue tie from Hermione's hand, watching as she crumbled up the spare and threw it on the back of the chair behind him.

"You know what, Granger?" Draco said standing to his feet. "I find you ungrateful."

"Ungrateful?!" Hermione replied appalled.

"Yes, ungrateful!" Draco said, gaining momentum in his anger. "Here I hire you with no prior experience in property management, buy you a new apartment and even get those low-fat, soy muffin bar things you like so much. You know, not very many people like soy, Granger!"

"You- there are no words to describe you!" Hermione exclaimed.

"You know, I used to be completely capable of making all sorts of decisions myself, but ever since you started working here, I've grown addicted! I have to know what you think!" Draco cried, slightly confused along with angry. "What do you think?" He asked holding up the silver cufflinks Hermione had just thrust in his hands.

Hermione glared at Malfoy and replied venomously, "I think you're the most selfish human being on the planet, Malfoy!"

"Well," Draco said, a bit of his pompous talk springing out of his mouth. "That's just silly. Have you met everyone on the planet?"

Giving Draco an Are-You-Serious look Hermione quit the closet and stormed away, ignoring Draco's protests of not having a shirt picked out.

_Two days later…_

"Miss Granger, you resume is amazing, really, but as you know," an older, slightly balding man said as he and Hermione descended a flight of stairs. "We do a lot of work with Malfoy Enterprises."

"All the more reason for me to make a smooth transition, don't you think?" Hermione asked, stopping two steps down from the older man.

A tired look crossed his face. "Mr. Malfoy called just before your interview and declared that you are indispensable to his company."

"Ah," Hermione said, looking away.

♥

"We're actually not hiring right now," A rather plump lady with a severe look reminding Hermione of Professor McGonagall said.

"Then why did you agree to see me?" Hermione asked, sitting just a little straighter in her chair.

"Well, we're partners with Zodiac Construction which does a lot of work with-"

"Malfoy Enterprises," Hermione finished.

"And-" The woman tired again, slightly put out when Hermione interrupted her once again.

"Mr. Malfoy doesn't want you to hire me," Hermione stated nodding her head slowly as she pursed her lips.

♥

"Just this morning, the attorney that was planning on quitting reconsidered," A small Asian man said from behind his desk. He twirled a pen in his fingers, a serious look on his face.

"When did Mr. Malfoy call?" Hermione asked, her face angry and impassive at the same time.

"Mr. Malfoy never called," The man said laughing nervously.

"WHEN?" Hermione barked.

"About two hours ago," The man replied, all traces of his smile gone.

♥

Hermione slammed the doors to Draco's office open and stormed inside. She found him wrapped in a towel, face-down on a massage table, two women flanking either side, rubbing his back.

"Make sure to massage his cloven hoof!" She yelled, hands clenched in balls at her side.

"Girls," Malfoy said, his voice soft. "I'm suddenly feeling a pain in my ass."

"I am unemployable!" Hermione cried, her voice wavering. "You called everyone but Slurpee Heaven!"

"That's not true," Draco replied. "I did call Slurpee Heaven. They didn't want you; heard you had attitude. Said you weren't _Slurpee_ material."

"Why would you do that?" Hermione cried, feeling all the more like a spoiled child. She clenched her hands at her sides and watched as Malfoy stood up and wrapping his towel more firmly about his waist took three steps closer to Hermione. The massage girls sauntered out of the room, stealing glances at the couple before closing the door.

"Tell you what," Draco said, crossing his arms and adopting a contemplative look. "You'll finish out what was stated in your contract. You'll finish Island Towers and save your precious little community center, and then we can find someone else and you can train him up a bit and then leave. And there's no loopholes out of that, because you made it that way!"

"I can't stay here, Malfoy!" Hermione said sullenly, her voice barely audible.

"You know, secretly I think you don't really want to leave…" Draco said.

Hermione threw up her arms in frustration and quit the room, exasperated.

♥

"This contract is ironclad, Hermione!" Larry Granger said into the phone.

"I know and I wrote it! But I'm trying to get out of it!" Hermione said.

"I told you, Hermione!" Ruth yelled in the background. There was the sound of someone taking the phone and then her mother's voice was clear when she said, "I told you, didn't I?"

"Mum! We both agreed that it would be for the best! I would have millions of dollars at my disposal to give to any charity I wanted! Plus, I got to keep the community center," Hermione said taking a cookie off the plate next to her and stuffing it into her mouth whole.

Larry took the phone back from his wife and said, "Why don't you come over and have some strawberry ice cream, honey?"

"Oh," Ruth cried. "You know what the doctor said! Have some Tutti Frutti Fresh n' Fruity! Your cholesterols over 200; you're basically a solid!"

"Amazing," Hermione muttered under her breath. Then louder she said, "Do you have any suggestions?"

"Other than deliberately trying to get fired, no," Larry said nonchalantly as Ruth called in the background, "Tutti Frutti Larry Granger!"

Hermione's eyes lit up as she thought of the possibilities spread before her.

♥

"What the hell was that, Granger?" Draco said as he pulled Hermione out into the hall by her arm.

"What was what?" Hermione asked, playing dumb.

"You know very well what!" Draco said stopping before the door to the men's room. "Spitting gum on the CEO! He's the one who makes most of the decisions around here, you know! And what was that with saying both of his kids were boys! You've met them! You know one is a girl!"

"Well," Hermione said in her own defense. "You know Susan looks like a boy."

"You're trying to get yourself fired, well let me tell you that that won't work! Not in this company!" Malfoy said triumphantly.

Hermione opened her mouth to respond when the door to the men's room opened and out stepped another employee. He nodded in Draco's direction and took off down the hall. Hermione reached out and grasped Malfoy's tie in her hand with a vice-like grip. She yanked him behind her into the men's room and only let go when they were both standing before the mirror.

"OK, look, because of you, I have developed an ulcer!" Hermione started. "I can't sleep at night because if you don't call, I DREAM that you're going to call me! I think about you in the shower in one of those so distracted ways that I forget whether or not I've washed my hair and end up washing it twice!"

Draco leaned against the counter, contemplating Hermione's disheveled appearance. "I won't call after hours…"

"Yes, yes you will!" Hermione said, stomping her foot very childishly on the floor. "Look, I'll find you another attorney, because in all honesty, I'm not even that good… I'll find someone totally better and you'll forget all about me."

"Highly unlikely, Granger," Malfoy said stiffly, turning up his nose in disgust.

"You know I will!" Hermione said, throwing her arms around Malfoy's neck and enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug. Malfoy had to fight the look that crossed his face before tentatively wrapping his arms in return about Hermione's thin frame. They hugged awkwardly for a couple of seconds till Hermione moved her head and something fell to the ground. They broke apart and looked down simultaneously. "Oh, it's my earring," Hermione said bending down to get it. She grasped it in her hand and went to stand up only to find her hair caught on the buckle of Malfoy's belt. "Ow!"

"Oi, Granger! Watch it! That's my overpriced Italian belt!" Malfoy said pulling slightly on her hair. At Hermione's cries of protest, he desisted. "Ok, I'm going to remove my-"

"Ahem…"

Malfoy turned, causing Hermione to tumble against his legs and have to peer around them to see who the intruder was. She could only make out a shiny bald head.

"Ah, Harold," Malfoy said slowly and nonchalantly. "Hermione and I were just discussing something, weren't we, Hermione?"

Hermione peered fully around Draco's legs and looked into the eyes of the company's CEO. "Yes, I was thinking that we could do a photo op at the job site with, you know, Draco in front, with, uh, his hand raised, like this," Hermione raised her hand in the air. Malfoy followed suit.

"And I thought," Malfoy said making a weird gyration with his hips. "That I could just take my belt off!"

Malfoy yanked his belts off and Hermione toppled to the ground. Harold raised his eyebrows, his shining head glimmering in the bathroom's light.

**A/N wow… that was one of my more longer chapters… rare sight indeed. Please review. It makes me happy and want to review sooner! I promise! This is also the end of everything being EXACTLY like the movie. Now only the plot will be used in my though process. Thanks for reading!**


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